Is our Empathy just? (The Leavers)

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      A mother left her child all by himself in a world that seems to not be meant for him. He is seen as an alien by not only his peers, but even his own adoptive parents. “I can’t figure out how to act around him sometimes,” something no child would want to hear from their adoptive mother. We see the son grow up into becoming an alcoholic and gambling addict, but still trying to save his face, he seems to get better.

While reading through the novel, I found myself constantly wondering what I would do if I was stuck in situations similar to Deming(the son) or Polly(the mother). Would I remain sane if my mother disappeared and never came back? Would I be able to save myself from a gambling addiction or alcoholism? 

    As humans we tend to believe that we would never end up in circumstances that Deming or Polly ended up in, "I'm smart enough, if my grade falls then I would work harder for it" or "If I became addicted to gambling I could pull myself out of it". But what we fail to consider is the mental strain that these characters deal with. Humans tend to think of themselves as better than novel characters, especially those who are going through tough times, even I've done this a few times while reading The Leavers.

    We try to sympathize with novel characters, but never facing extreme circumstances such as theirs, we can't completely relate. I've been in a situation where I felt different, my old school, but I was never bullied or felt as if I couldn't fit in, I forced myself to. I made myself like the things the other kids liked, suppressed my culture in fear of being called weird, stopped bringing Indian food for lunch, and utilized countless other ways to "fit in". I could only relate to Deming on the surface though, since he's been through numerous other predicaments that I've never experienced. 

    It's easy for us to say "Oh I wouldn't be in that situation if I were him/her/them" but truly looking at the story from a wide lens can not only change your perspective on the book, but also change the way you read as a whole. 

Comments

  1. Vidhi KamatJanuary 9, 2022 at 10:41 AM

    Wow Shambhavi, I really loved reading about your perspective on Deming's case. Your blog explores that "what if?" thought we may have when reading the novel. I love that you included your own experience and related it to Deming. I am really starting to see Deming and Polly in a different lens now!

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  2. Om KhuperkarJanuary 9, 2022 at 12:08 PM

    Interesting thoughts! An important trait to have is perspective taking: the ability to look beyond your own point of view. As privileged people, we lack often this trait and are quick to judge others. Life is truly a mystery and you never know where it will take you. Who knows? Maybe one day, you could be in the shoes of the person you've labeled.

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  3. Amritha YelletiJanuary 9, 2022 at 1:18 PM

    This is a very unique perspective you took on this book! I would like to think that if I were in this situation, I would try my best to remain strong, but as you said, we can never "truly" relate to someone's struggles unless we have first-handedly experienced them, so in reality, my mental health would probably be severely damaged and I would eventually break. Thank you for enabling us to have a different perspective towards Deming and Polly!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sonnet XuJanuary 12, 2022 at 8:38 PM

    The ending to your blog was really nice. I like how you addressed a potentially different viewpoint and contextualized everything in a broader context. Some of the rhetorical question you ask really help to tie your blog together and reshape the reader's view about the situations that are occurring in the novel.

    ReplyDelete

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