Eastern and Western Romantic Relationships

In Pachinko and The Importance of Being Earnest, the difference in the marital relationships between eastern and western couples brings significant differences in the fulfillment and happiness of marriage and becoming married.

In the first two generations of the novel Pachinko, we witness arranged marriages for both Yangjin and Sunja, two female characters in the novel. Arranged marriage is seen as a more frequent occurrence in eastern countries, so arranged marriage being the deciding factor of Yangjin and Sunja’s relationship and life is not unordinary, especially considering the time period of the first two generations of the novel. Both Yangjin and Sunja were in unstable positions before their marriages were arranged, whether it be financially or socially. Neither woman had the idea of “raising” their social status, rather they wanted to “save their social status. Although “this does not mean that one must be rich to make a marriage work. However, if one has the basic necessities of life provided through a secure job and careful planning, many unnecessary anxieties can be removed from a marriage.”(Ven. K. Sri Dhammananda) This becomes an important driving idea of the novel as Hoonie, Yangjin’s husband, stabilizes Yangjin’s financial standings and Isak “saves” Sunja from the shame of her illegitimate child. Dhammananda underlines this thought process that many people from eastern countries or cultures share. Understanding this idea provides important background information on how Yangjin and Sunja’s relationships came to be: not out of greed, but out of the need for “basic necessities”.


Switching over to the western perspective on love and marriage, especially focusing on the Victorian era, a new kind of marriage had evolved: the “companionate marriage”. Companionate marriage “shaped the way that people met and courted in the 19th century. The ideal of marriages based on love gave young people, especially women, a new level of agency in their choice of partners.” (Ayda Lowen-Clarke) This idea becomes a prominent part of The Importance of Being Earnest as women like Gwendolen and Cecily were given a choice with whom they wanted to marry, and love was a driving force behind this decision.


If we direct our attention toward Algernon and Cecily’s relationship, we find that their sudden “love at first sight” fueled their desire for marriage and neither character thought about their situation realistically. Financial conditions were the least of Cecily’s worries, but another pair of characters, Gwendolen and her mother Lady Bracknell focused on financial and social status when evaluating Jack (Earnest) Worthing. This evaluation of Jack was focused not on financial security, but rather on the amount of wealth. The idea that Jack didn’t have immediate family and connections displeased Lady Bracknell despite Jack's financial security. The importance of wealth becomes one of the main focuses of the story rather than the love the characters share.


From a western perspective, eastern views on love and marital relationships may seem confusing or too focused on wealth and social status. Well, the same could be said for western ideology. “Romantic love is like the bright flame of a wood-fire that leaps up and burns clear, but lasts only a short time.”(Ven. K. Sri Dhammananda) From a Buddhist and eastern perspective, the lack of thought and contemplation in Cecily and Algernon’s seems harmful to the couple involved. The flame could die down at any time, and the ones in control of the flame are the couple themselves. If the couple is able to preserve the same spark from when they first met, like the spark between Algernon and Cecily, then we know that the couple has a chance of keeping the flame lit. But if circumstances in the future waver the already fainting flame, no one could tell when the flame may die out. Both Algernon and Cecily, and Earnest and Gwendolen’s relationships were a “love at first sight”, but from the perspective of others, this type of relationship may be seen as unstable or unreliable.


In Micheal Novak’s novel, The Myth of Romantic Love, Novak brings up an interesting point about how love can become an important part of Western culture. “Romantic love is a Western invention, a near-obsession, supposedly the key to all happiness.”(Novak) Now, this take on romantic love can be applied to both The Importance of Being Earnest and Pachinko, where we see the “Western invention” of romantic love play its role in the relationship of three couples, where one couple does not fare well in the end.


In Pachinko, we witness the break between Sunja and Hansu’s relationship, which was built partially on the idea of “love at first sight”. The end of their relationship comes from Sunja’s pregnancy and her learning that Hansu already had a wife and three children back in Japan. This plot twist proved to be lethal for Sunja, who had to settle for an arranged marriage to a pastor to “save” her image. Both Sunja and Hansu have no religious affiliations, but Hansu had traveled the world multiple times before and after meeting Sunja, which could have been a reason why Hansu didn’t see his relationship with Sunja to be incorrect or immoral. Hansu’s westernized morals and ideals guided his frivolousness and carelessness toward his relationships, while Sunja suffered from the effects of Hansu’s actions.


In The Importance of Being Earnest, we get to see how the two couples find a way to be together after only knowing each other for only about a few days. We never find out how the couples’ relationships carry on in the future since even the audience is aware that neither Gwendolen nor Cecily even knew Jack or Algernon’s real names. Although their names are revealed in the end, Algernon and Earnest could continue to hide other important things about themselves in the fear of their partner's discontent as they did throughout the play. This same frivolousness and secrecy in Pachinko is what turned Sunja and Hansu’s relationship sour, and what could turn the relationships of both of the couples from The Importance of Being Earnest sour.


On the other hand, imagine if Cecily and Gwendolen had to marry someone that their parents personally picked out for them, and their marriage would take place after they meet their future husbands only a few times, similar to how Isak barely knew Sunja except for the situation she was in. Considering Cecily and Gwendolen’s personalities and upbringing, both characters would have rebelled and refused to marry the chosen man. The freedom and openness that western culture allows, especially the newfound freedom during the Victorian era, is something that eastern culture lacks. This freedom gives women somewhat similar rights as men in choosing whom they want to spend the rest of their lives with, although The Importance of Being Earnest portrayed women as foolish and easily persuaded (that topic is for another time), and the ability to choose could also positively affect the couple.


Even in Pachinko, Sunja's mother Yangjin tells her to take care of her husband or another woman will, insinuating that Sunja’s relationship needs to work out regardless of how close she is to her husband. If Sunja had followed through with Hansu’s proposal in a frivolous and momentary manner and had become his wife in Korea, Sunja could have lived a decent life as the wife of a Yakuza member. But Sunja’s morality, backed by her culture, didn’t allow her to give up her life after it had been pushed off track by Hansu.


The entire idea of eastern vs western relationships is something that has been discussed for years. The amount of freedom in choosing that each type of marriage offers differs greatly, and opposing views are able to find faults in each other's ideologies. In Pachinko, eastern culture and tradition offer a perspective that western ideology doesn’t usually offer whereas western ideology offers a type of freedom that hadn’t been a part of eastern tradition at the time. Given the similar time period of both pieces and the economic hardships during those times, some of these traditions have been evolving to become more balanced between freedom and carefulness.